and yes, i've been a tennis fan for years. my dad can attest to that. i wasn't as into it as i am right now cause i didn't have anyone that i support
as usual, i lied. i'm going to talk about tennis. muahaha..
it's ernests' birthday today! the big two zero. i feel less paedophlic. only slightly. can i just say the dude is made of hotness. it doesn't help that he looks gorgeous in navy blue. i dig the new addidas kit. never take it off. okay, maybe not. heh. he lost to ooh-i'm-sucha-douche roddick. but i'm fine. he played well. not good enough, i supposed. my dad was watching the match with me. he was impressed. there i was, beaming with pride.
dad: wah! he's good.
me: I KNOW!
dad: fantastic shot man!
dad: where is he from?
me: erm.. latvia.
i'm obsessed with writing down conversations. humourous ones only. or ones that holds special meaning to me. and i think stories are meant to be shared. especially interesting ones. if you don't have a story to tell, you're pretty much boring to me. case in point: a certain teacher i had a couple of years back. i swear i was never frustrated with anyone due to their lack of charm. i'm usually forgiving but her. gawd, no.
it's been a testing few weeks. i'm not gonna complain. cause as much as i like to, i think it's pointless. it has nothing to do with work. work's been fine. i'm still trying to find some ground. honestly, office dynamics baffles me. it feels like i'm in the office. as in, my favourite tv show ever. minus dwight though. and i guess, i'm pretty good at being alone. which is not so good when you're in the office. cliques here and there. i can't be the neutral person all the time.
which makes me wonder about things. how people operate. in friendships, relationships. i like to think that you can be the same person in every situation. but it's wistful thinking. the best thing to hope is to feel a level of comfort amongst people. when i connect with someone, it's truly a connection. there's a certain sense of ease which is undefinable. you're just you. you don't have to try. you don't have to pretend that you care or if you're listening to them rant. you do it cause you want to. and it's rare. but i do have a select few. whoever you are, i hope i do the same for you.
there's so many things to do. tons of planning. roles and responsibilities i wish to shirk but i can't. mainly because i signed up for them. it's cowardly to run away. but it's definitely tempting. as much as i like to think that i can multi-task well, i hate having to think about so many things at the same time. it's just too much torture for my brains.
i feel stuck. everyone's doing their own thing. i wish i hadn't volunteer to plan for this event. it's too much of an undertaking. i said yes only because no one else had the balls to step up. and i had to. or so i thought.
i hate tantrums. it's okay if you're five. other than that, it's just painfully embarassing.
i'm conflicted. i wish it'll be jan soon. at the same time, i don't want the day to end so soon. i always wish for longer nights. it feels like the day stretch for many hours.
fasting month starts in a day. like damn fast lah!