Friday, July 30, 2004
michael chiang - private parts
29th august 2004
esplanade theatre

caca & me

apart from the title that sounds so wrong each time someone mentions it verbally(can't help it as it appears vulgar to the ears), the play was fan-ta-bulous. i don't mind a second dosage. if the tickets were cheaper, i'd urge everyone from all walks of life to watch it. cause it's the truth. the reality of life. especially that of 'liberalised' singapore. in other words, it's a satire of our society. and it kept me thinking..

i spent quite some time explaining to people that i'm was going to watch a play called, private parts and that it was written by michael chiang. somehow, when i want to cut it short by saying, "i'm watching michael chiang's private parts" i was greeted, much to my glee and later frustration, "private parts?! aalliiaahh.. whose?!" my reply, "no.. it's michael chiang's play, private parts?" and everyone went, "ooh.. thought what sia?" people, do not be quick to jump into conclusions cause it won't be as funny if it's for some urgent or serious stuff.

back to the play
it was certainly an eye-opener. how often do you get to watch guys in drag? i was simply awe-struck by the 3 dancers. 3 muscular guys entered the stage with coloured feather boas dancing in high-heels. they do it so well that i can't help by grumble. they dance way better than i'm able to sia! not fair. i can't even walk steadily with heels! how did they do it? the second number was goood. ala chicago, the dancers were dressed to kill with their flapper get-up. man, i'm so jealous.

the gist of the play
the story revolves around a tv talk-show host who finds his life turned upside down after he befriends 3 patients in a sex-change clinic. the play brought about issues that are 'uniquely singapore' affecting us today. from tourism campaigns to media competition and even reality tv! basically, the play addresses the viewpoint of homosexuality. projected from the different perspectives. we get to see the transexual's point of view, the society's 'acceptance' and their treatment towards this group of people. it's a thought-provoking play. although written with simplicity, the essence of the play is embedded in the audiences with much audicity.

at the end of the play, i have to disagree that our country is actually progressing towards the exceptance of homosexuality. as much as we want to admit that we're becoming(the key word here is becoming) accepting, the harsh truth is: not everyone is open-minded and is receptive towards the notion of transgender. if there's progression, i think it's much to slow to see any significant changes. why can't acceptance be practise easily? it's a choice made by the individual. who are we to oppose to their choice of lifestyle. i think everyone ought to be able to possess the freedom to live their life. if it's different or not normal, so be it. as long as he/she is happy, that's all that matters. i'm all for it. i hope there's understanding. discrimination is a display of narrow-mindedness. and i pity homophobes cause clearly they're deluding themselves.

what's normal anyway?

"the scathing irony pushes home the question: will singaporeans accept people who do not comform to the mould cast by society?"
-- the straits times
posted by neko-chan at 6:06 PM | 0 comments
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
something for you guys to ponder about. thanks arly.
For all you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly!!!
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest??
It isn't love, it's LIKE.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him
It isn't love, it's LUST.
Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off??
It isn't love, it's LUCK.
Do you want her because you know she's/he's there??
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.
Are you with her/him because it's what everyone wants??
It isn't love, it?s LOYALTY.
Are you with her because she/he kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.
Do you stay for her/him confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her/him?
It isn't love, it's PITY.
Do you belong to her/him because the sight of her/him makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.
Do you pardon her faults because you care about her/him?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.
Do you tell her/him every day she is the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.
Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
cynicism towards love is a choice that one takes.
it always happens to those who doesn't know what it's like to be in love.
i can't help being a skeptic.
and often ask myself, what's falling in love like?
 -- aliah
posted by neko-chan at 5:26 PM | 0 comments
Sunday, July 25, 2004
i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it when i miss something that i was staying up for. especially since it was only a few minutes till the show starts. i fell asleep 15 minutes before my must-watch on saturdays. argh! no scrubs and good morning miami for me this week. argh! so bloody frustrated right now. the fact is, i do this all the time. just few minutes before the show starts, i gotta fall asleep and blow the chance of watching that particular show. how lame can i get?
posted by neko-chan at 1:28 PM | 0 comments
Saturday, July 24, 2004
does anyone believe in fate nowadays? or has it run out of fashion cause it doesn't seem to happen to you? the more you wish to believe that it's fate or destiny's doings, the more you'll get flustered cause what you want doesn't necessarily mean you will get it?

think i had a case of deja vu.. saw this guy. i know i've seen him before. twice. yesterday was probably my third time seeing him. spiritually, i feel like i'm going to see him again. i know it's bullshit but i just believe in this kinda things. man, i sound like a second class fortune teller. trying hard to determine the future but have no justifications to back it up. ok, i'm nuts but it's too much of a coincidence.

note: it could be a chance encounter. maybe i might see him again. but then, maybe not. who knows?
posted by neko-chan at 12:00 AM | 0 comments
Saturday, July 17, 2004
on a monday i am waiting
tuesday i am fading
and by wednesday i can’t sleep
then the phone rings i hear you
and the darkness is a clear view
cause you’ve come to rescue me...
posted by neko-chan at 12:08 PM | 1 comments
Friday, July 16, 2004
sometimes i wonder why people act the way they do. either i don't get it or i disagree. i'm not saying that i'm always right. it's just the way i see things. it's always amazing to watch people get upset over the simplest things while ignoring whenever they choose to if it doesn't fit their agenda. and this applies to anything. in some ways, the current society is an evolution of the puritanical victorian society. without the ridiculous impositions that is.
the truth is rarely pure and never simple.
once said by my favourite author, oscar wilde. i couldn't agree more. what is the truth? i think it should not be debated. it remains ambigous with the presence of white lies and lying for the sake of happiness, love or whatever shit. basically, to avoid unhappiness. sometimes you have to lie in order to tell the truth cause some people are just delusional. it's always tough to be honest. it's crap when people ask you to. obviously, they can't handle it. and when they don't, they accuse you of hurting them deliberately. what is that?
do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?
how would you handle it? i personally am dreading every second of this possibility. death is something that i worry about constantly. it haunts me even in my dreams. i don't fear mine. it's my loved ones that i'm terrified of. you can go touchwood all you want but it's a fact. let's face it, there is no such thing as immortality. tell it to michael jackson. life is a celebration. but i can't help agonizing. i can only make the best of every moment i have and try as i might, not to take things for granted. 
dream as if you'll live forever. live as if you'll die today.
posted by neko-chan at 5:50 PM | 1 comments
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
while everyone around me worry about pre-marital sex and underage marriages, i have only one fear.

will i ever fall in love?

i don't necessary think so. not because i don't have the capacity to love. it's just the 'be loved' part that i'm afraid of. sometimes i think love is too over-rated. not that i'm dismissing the fact. i'm in love with love! it's just the way it's been represented nowadays. in some cases, love equates to the 'since you love me, i shall love you back' theory. call me impractical or maybe idealistic with a tinge of practicalism.. but my(i shall overemphasize the word MY) idea of falling in love is a 'connection' that's almost phanthom-like. you know it's present but you have no idea where it came from. it just occurs. you're so engrossed in each other's company that nothing else matters. it's like a form of merger. you exist as an entity. basically, it's a 2 way thing. the feeling is mutual. you're so consumed by each other that everything around you don't even care to look around anymore. time stands still. and all you care is 'imagine you and me..'

i've never been a believer of the kind of love that grows. for example, matchmade couples. there's always resistance on one's part. like you're willing just cause you know the other person feel for you so you're obliged to do the same. that's not love! that's duty. maybe i'm cynical but i don't like to think that love grows. it's more of nurturing. the love have to originate from your initial feelings be it attraction or a sense of comfort and they gotta be genuine. or else, why does it matter? cause it feels false. and that is unacceptable to me.

and that's the reason why i fear i will never fall in love. i just don't see it as a possibility. definitely not anytime soon. not that i'm being overly critical of myself and my capabilty to share my love. it's just that i feel like i'm imposing so many restrictions(they're invisible to the naked eyes by the way) on myself and the way i want things to work out. i'm not worried about finding someone special. i'm just petrified at my ability to jeopardise things. it's frightening to know that you're able to wreck the way things are without even realising it. it'll only materialize after damage has been done. and that, rattles me.

p/s guys if you see me staring into space, most probably i'm worrying whether i'll fall in love or not. so, no worries. nothing too drastic like suicide or the probability of going on a bingeing spree. the latter being a possibility.
posted by neko-chan at 4:56 PM | 0 comments
Tuesday, July 13, 2004

bucky says it best.
posted by neko-chan at 6:24 PM | 0 comments
Friday, July 09, 2004
restlessness is a chore i can't escape. i'm forever immune to it. it's just so easy to be. probably one of my worst habits. the prognosis: (1) lack of enthusiasm (2) inadequate amount of willpower (3) i'm just disinterested.
posted by neko-chan at 3:31 PM | 0 comments
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
i'm in a happy place right now.. although the idea scares me from time to time, i'm content in staying where i am right now.

i'm floating in the clouds. i can see the rainbow. i see the sun smiling at me. i can see the birds flying. and the stars are twinkling.

Raindrops are falling on my head
and just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed,
nothing seems to fit
raindrops are falling on my head,they keep falling

So I just did me some talking to the sun,
and I said I didn't like the way he got things done,
sleeping on the job
raindrops are falling on my head they keep falling

But there's one thing, I know
the blues they sent to meet me won't defeat me.
It won't be long 'till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me, cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
nothing's worrying me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
crying 's not for me
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free
Nothing's worrying me
posted by neko-chan at 6:34 PM | 0 comments
Sunday, July 04, 2004
i shall restrain myself from getting frustrated just cause i think blogger ate my previous entry. the one i wrote just before this one. breathe aliah, breathe. calm yourself down. you shall not lose your cool over such a silly little thing like that. goddammit. i hate it when that happens. you take ages to think about what to write (well, that's what i do anyway) and poof it all went kapoot. what a waste of energy!

sundays is officially family day from now onwards. it's a good idea to bowl together. i enjoy bowling.. plus spending time with the family is rarity nowadays cause everyone's busy doing their own thing. some time together is splendid. just the way i like it..

saw a father and daughter playing catching at the void deck. it was a sight.. i couldn't help but smile. felt warm and fuzzy inside. it's so uncommon to see that nowadays. i guess the modern day parent's idea of spending their time with their children is to bring them some place out. maybe sit at the sides while they watch their kids run around like goons. i think the ideal is to engage yourselves in activities with your children. it's a totally different experience altogether and they're hard to come by..

i've gave up putting a face to that of 'the one'. it's not like i can't wait to meet him.. i just want to know. have you guys ever wonder, 'who will he be?' if so, 'will you guys truly end happily ever after?' what if he's not 'the one'? what if there's someone out there who's the real one? and you got the wrong person? what if you found him too late? shit. i'm killing myself by doing this. but i just want to know. yes, it kills the excitement but heck. i'll act surprise. haha..
posted by neko-chan at 5:21 PM | 0 comments
sunday mornings will officially be family day for us. i think it's a good idea. i enjoy bowling.. and time spent with the family is much sought after. woke up early in the morning. the usual suspects had to be dragged out of their beds. by 9 we were at the civil servant club. we played 2 games while dad was belting it out at the tennis court with his cronies. mum was good. though she was a hoot to watch. i stank. had so many gutterballs, i lost count! it's frustrating cause you know you can do better than that but the damn ball kept curling to the side. can't wait for next week. hope i'll do way better than today. if not, i'm really tempted to drop the ball on someone's foot.

saw a father and daughter playing catching at the void deck earlier on. it was such a sight.. i couldn't helped but feel warm and fuzzy inside..

i have give up all efforts to match a face to that of a 'the one'. it's like the more i think of it, the more i'll be exasperated cause it could be anyone. and that, scares the living shit out of me. i constantly have this urge to know. yes, it kills the element of surprise. heck. i want to know. i'll act surprise. haha..
posted by neko-chan at 3:50 PM | 0 comments
Saturday, July 03, 2004
sometimes words can just lift your spirits up. it's amazing how songs could manipulate your emotions. music never fails to amaze me. i guess that's why i love it so much.

Why do birds suddenly appear
every time you are near?
just like me, they long to be
close to you

Why do stars fall down from the sky
every time you walk by?
just like me, they long to be
close to you

On the day that you were born,
the angels got together
and decided to create a dream come true.
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold
and starlight in your eyes of blue,

That is why all the boys(girls) in town
follow you all around
just like me, they long to be

On the day that you were born,
the angels got together
and decided to create a dream come true.
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair of gold
and starlight in your eyes of blue,

That is why all the boys(girls) in town
follow you all around
just like me, they long to be

Waaaaaaaahh, close to you,
Haaaaaaaaahh, close to you,
Haaaaaaaaahh, close to you,
Yaaaaaaaaahh, close to you...

this would make an ideal bdae present.
posted by neko-chan at 10:02 AM | 0 comments
Thursday, July 01, 2004
i complain that friends don't understand all the time. that people don't get me. i always believe that it's so hard to make people truly know me. but i guess i was expecting too much. the truth is, i don't allow them to. and if they do, i'd either freak myself out by not believing it or try as hard as i can to make it seem like they can't penetrate through me.

the fact is, i don't even take my time to understand my friends. i've always been selfish.. and that's my vice.

i guess honesty is the best remedy.
posted by neko-chan at 4:33 PM | 0 comments