i hate this semester. i hate having assignments due every week. my memory fails me. i can't even remember the deadline(s). i forget. mad frantic to complete my work. hail infinite greatness. group work is fun. but if there's so many different stuff to do, it starts to confuse me. i'll just go WHATTHEFUCKISHAPPENINGMAYIKNOW??? i like to be in control of my surroundings. right now, i feel helpless. i need to start on my individual assignment. like now.

man, i don't usually whine and shit. just cause, it's not my style. but i couldn't give a damn, right now. this semester sucks. i hate not having able to do 'nothing'.

anna jacobs, i think i NEED you! help me.. anna taught me nutrition last two semesters. now that i'm done with ntr, i've got no scary anna to frighten me with horrid stories about consumption of fats and whatnot. it's like the inner demon has unleashed itself. i'm back to my normal habit. atrocious diet. missing gym ain't helping. next week, next week. i officially have a kangaroo pouch on my tummy. ugh. but i love reese peanut butter cup! maybe i need a nutritionist to take note of my diet or something. i can get very excessive and indulgent. it's not even funny.

the chalet with the starbucks folks was fun. 20 odd people squeezed in a tiny DOWNTOWN EAST chalet. that's a new experience for me. it's always, tons of people but with a bigger space. so yeah. there was alot of spooning, lazing in the bed pretending to watch tv. those who drank and vomit. those who remain sober. me included. didn't sleep the whole day. no space. argh. still, it was nice. too bad i missed the bbq. like WTF???

here's a picture i took while sitting at the bench, trying to get some sleep. the sunlight was peeking through the trees.


after that, went to watch off centre by the necessary stage.


true enough. 3/4 of the audience was made up of 'o' level kids. so annoying. move here, move there. i hate it when people make noise. like allow the sound of plastic to be heard. like wth? can always like slowly take or shift your things right. you're not at the market what?! do we really need to educate our people on these kinda things? isn't it basic courtesy?

on with the play, it was a funny yet depressing play. i've never been a fan of haresh sharma. don't ask me why. i go for his plays though. hmm.. how contradicting. oh well. so yeah. serious issues like the state of mental patients in singapore. i find it interesting that the characters kept pointing to us audience and try so hard to explain how similar we are. how that they're not mad and we are essentially, the same. i was thinking.. actually, all of us are crazy. one way or another. i don't truly believe in sanity. it's the madness that drives us. hah. kinda like what the cheshire cat told alice.

you can't help that. we're all mad here.

as usual, a little cam-whoring with caca. the same place. i think it's the best place to take pictures if there's the two of you and there's no one else to take your picture for you.

i started the ball rolling. since my cousin is not the hey-everyone-let's-take-a-picture kind.


i went giddy!


LOOK! my cousin is taking a picture! whoa..


like so rare kan? heh. we go again! and again! play dress up and do my hair in the esplanade toilet. so can scare the auntie cleaner. muahaha..


new semester today. it was alright. you have no idea how much i hate being too early. especially when there's no one around to entertain me. it's uncomfortable.

i spent mother's day with my dad. the irony. mum was away at bangkok. like wth? the injustice! it's unfair how life operates. i'm the one who bloody wants to go bangkok for eons. i don't care. i'm going. by the end of 2007, if i haven't go - i don't know what to say. so yeah. she was there for work. but first, let me talk about my mother's day celebration with my dad.

a repeat of last year. we decided to go as a family, all 30 plus of us, to melacca. went for high-tea. did some shopping. i wasn't looking forward to it when last minute, my mum couldn't go. i'm like, "wth? funny ah. go for mother's day celebration without my mum. ha ha."

it wasn't that bad. in fact, it was fun. instead of mum, who usually sit beside me in the bus, i had my aunt. we were yakking throughout the journey. that, was a riot.

instead of shopping, me and dad opt for lunch at kenny rogers. yummy-licious, i must say. we were so full that we didn't eat anything during the high tea. hah.


that's my dad. behind him is the fire thingy where they cook the chicken. i dig the store layout. they were playing classics.


at the hotel. my granny was so bored of waiting. SLEEPYHEAD!


she was yawning and yawning away. till she had food in front of her! haha..


that's the stage. looks like a chinese wedding eh?


that's nadiah. my little cousin. she's a doll!


in front of our bus.


so my mum return from bangkok with shitloads of stuff. i was like, "wah! soo many bags." and she was like, "they're for you!" ARGH! ilurpyoumummy! oh gawd. i've got tons of stuff. whee! i swear, she set the record for being the only person who shops for me when they're overseas. i've never received that much souveniers from one destination.


and she bought me the jelly slippers i was looking for! *dies* that's soo my colour right?


i was so psyched about my new jelly slippers, i was carrying them around the house. i can't wait to wear em!

i shall digress!

here's my section of the shoe cabinet. i'm the only one in the family who gets and NEEDS a whole portion just for my shoes. i sorta revamped it. categorise them into flats, slippers, gym shoes and my chucks.


i realise i have no black shoes at all! zero. it's like the opposite of the regular, normal girls who need either black or neutral colours to easily match their clothes. this is a sign. maybe i need black shoes? but i'm never attracted to black shoes. blah.

note: my heels are kept in boxes. so, no sight of em. i do have heels. i just don't wear them enough.

how come i feel like no one is listening when i speak? everyone else is good at brushing me off. concentrate on what the others are saying. why would my words matter anyway? perhaps it's this certain crowd. i don't mean much to them. i don't need to be the center of attention. seriously. if you think i get the attention. i don't. maybe occasionally some might think i matter to them. what about the rest of the time? i'm finding excuses for those who dismiss me. why, i wonder? i'm so used to being sidelined, i don't bother to talk at times. small talk is nauseating. making people laugh at jokes that aren't funny is tedious. making fun of your friends is not hilarious. hating people because they aren't like you is horrible. i'm tired. i need people who are true. those who see the shine in my eyes when i talk. those who matter to me more that life itself. those who understand. pass no judgement. adore my idiosyncracies. love me for my neurosis. and i love them for bearing with me. sometimes i wonder, if i die today, will people care? why would they? when i'm alive, they treat me as second best. why only realise after i'm gone.

i watched factory girl. maybe it's the reason why i'm feeling melancholic. more on the movie later.

how i'm feeling right now..


so apt.

here's me trying to study for com 242, media effects. and at the same time, showing off my orange nails. *hearts* one word. SHOCKING! haha.. i lurve shocking people. it's cheap thrill, i know. but i enjoy seeing people's reaction.


last saturday, we went to sentosa! four of us squeezed in a tiny mat. it was pretty mellow. kinda chillout. we 'explored' the island since there's so many new developments. so many additions! so different from the old sentosa i'm used to.


i was the only one who was brave enough to take out my handphone and take a picture while we're on the skyride. but i didn't dare to turn and take the scenery. it was a risk. i didn't want to drop my phone! at the same time, i wasn't about to drop my favourite green flip-flops into whatever lies below. concrete ground or green trees. my hands were sweaty and all. ugh.


i want to be a cat.


all i do is laze around, eat my smelly food and go to the loo every now and then. it's important to have an owner like me though. no abuse. a life of a hedonist. minus the cucumber sandwiches.


spot can fly! he has super human/feline powers!


even though he's a tabby. i honestly think he's a lion at heart.


HEAR ME ROAR!

..while i was in the kitchen the other night, i saw cheaky doing a where's wally? can you spot her amidst the food?


she is a former spy. she hides behind the toaster for cover!


she caught the paparazzi who was busy snapping away.


NOT happy. she tries to scratch the camera away from the hands of the paparazzi. see how she reaches for the camera. SCARY!


she tried running away. but she couldn't find her car.


argh. she jumps!


take that, b*tch!

..and yes. i'm still hung up on nebraska. why? cause he's 'following' me wherever i go. seriously. i tried. but i failed miserably. karma is a b*tch. i hate it. especially, when it bites me on the ass. i fall fast and hard. i need a distraction. a REAL person maybe? but i think everyone else will pale in comparison. just cause i've got rocket high standards. and i'm picky.


WHY GOD WHY?!

p/s i'm free if anyone wants to hangout and chill. you know how to get me. i'm game for a staring match. or an aimless day walking around with nothing in mind except excessive ramblings about non-important stuff that matters to you more than life itself.